tea with honey

My Fair Ladies

2012-03-01T18:55:00.001+08:00

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin

We finally met over sweet treats at MBS yesterday and got high on chocolates like no other. While we enjoyed the breeze and scenery, we laughed our lungs out at the rooftop over anything and everything, shared our views and perceptions of things, and some girly-motherly-bitchy talks all over.

Such sweet, bubbly, two pretty souls I've met.

Thank you, you both for the little surprise. You know i love it! :))

And of course, the chef did a great job, yes? :)

29 February 2012, a leap year, as special as the day i met these women i keep in my goodbooks of life.

Additions to my girlfriends list, thank you Allah, for bringing this two lovely ladies into my life and add such bliss into it.

Hope to meet these dolls again!

xoxo.

Happy Birthday, Mama.

2012-02-08T21:10:00.005+08:00

It felt universal, how close we are as adults.

Our kids are taken care by my mum and they spend lots of time together. They'd have morning/afternoon walks, watch the eagles fly, sing-a-long sessions, babytv laid back time and of course endless playtime.

I love it that every one of us are family oriented. We'd find ways to be in each other's company and attend celebrations whether big or small it may be. Family parties/kenduri, hiking, watching each other kid’s hilarious videos, or even sitting down over a good tea session at the dining table (Abang and i love to do that, even if we have to talk with our eyes half open. Abang with his big cup of Milo-O, and me with my all time super sweet tea).

Being a parent of a turning-2-year-old toddler today, I can understand how hard it must have been for my parents, juggling almost everything, to raise us. My brother and I are living through the trials and tribulations of raising toddlers but nevertheless, they are sheer bliss indeed. Sometimes we talk fondly of wealthy daily lifestyle but I think we will have considered ourselves successful parents if, when our kids are adults, they spend time together like we do. Such happiness money can't buy.

Mum and dad love them both to bits!

Realising how rare my mum truly is, I am thanking Allah today for the life she has lived and the knowledge she has given to me. I’m also asking Allah to help me to be faithful and to pass on this knowledge to my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, insya-Allah.

So Mama, happy birthday and thank you for being such a successful parent. You have earned the position of a Queen in our hearts, and, hopefully, many more of these family bonding. :)

Love,
Hani

2011 - In My Diary

2012-01-04T15:56:00.008+08:00

How was your New Year, earthlings?

I haven't had the time nor mental capacity to gather my thoughts... until now. And since i had a restful weekend, here's something to round up 2011.

Motherhood

It is probably the single most consuming and tiring role I have ever taken on but at the same time, it also feels like the most beautiful and natural thing in the world. Caring, nurturing and being entirely responsible for a little human being, who, by the way, adores me in return too. It is such an honour, really, and I feel incredibly blessed to have this experience. Thank you, Allah.

Well, my little Audi has been doing a lot of growing up in 2011. Today, he has grown to become this fun-loving toddler who jabbers non-stop, has boundless energy and a headstrong personality to match. He still thinks the world of me so hey, I don't think I am doing too shabby a job :) It has been such a treat watching him grow, and sometimes i really hope he'll slow down abit. I loved every minute of the precious one-on-one time we had together and endlessly figuring out how to be a good mother to him.

My going back to work and school was a difficult transition for our little family, especially myself. I was soooooo stressed, I tell you. And not to mention, sleep-deprived. It took me a while to find my footing but everything did fall into its place eventually. I thank Allah for such strong family support.

We are fortunate that both sets of parents are more than willing to help out wherever they can. It is heartening to see how Audi has brought our families much closer. I swear that alone, people who takes care of my darling Audi, made a world of difference in my quality of life :) Not to mention my very committed husband who doesn't mind at all taking over the roll when i'm away for school assignments, me-time and sessions with the girlfriends.

My deepest and special thanks to my beloved mum, who is willing to be the main caregiver for Audi while Syam-love and myself had to get down for work. Without her helping me look after Audi, I probably would not have gone back to work or even school. I just can't (fully) trust anyone else to do a better job.

She always tells me stuff about my own son that I have no clue about. How he is not drinking enough water with just one look at his poop, where exactly his new teeth are sprouting, whether he has a 'heaty' or a 'cold' cough, what his grunts mean. Experiences of a mother, huh?

Career

On the career front, I have been in a bit of a quandary for a while now. I guess I could count myself lucky to have a supportive boss and a nice bunch of kakis in the office. The work environment is pleasant. But well, work is work. Sure I get work done and I think I am pretty good at it. But at the end of the day, I just see it as a job. It pays the bills. A means to an end. I'm not sure if that is enough for me. Am I settling? I also know if I want to take on more, the doors are there. But at this point, with so much going on in my life, I am not quite ready to explore and knock on them just yet. Do I even want more?

On top of that, now that Audi is a lot more interactive and fun to be with, I find myself missing him like crazy all day long. I wish my company believed in flexi-work options (who doesn't wish so!). I wish I could spend more time and do fun stuff with him. Two to three hours every night with him is hardly enough, really. And I know he misses his Bunda too. I want to be there more for him. The guilt never goes away, really.

I don't know, I think if I have go on to have more kids, this is something that really needs a rethink... again.

Syam-love, however, have been very lucky this year. His career path have been laid down infront of him. I've always love looking at him grow in his career-line because it's simply inspiring. He is one who puts in effort, believe in determination and perseverance and his tenacity have always been a pearl in his life. I never fail to salute him for that and certainly, I am very proud of him. Keep it up, love! You know i'll always be your spine throughout your every seconds of life.

Marriage

Marriage-wise, I will readily admit 2011 has been a really pleasant year for us. The curse of being new parents did not hit us much. Juggling a baby on top of family, work and school commitments, managing each other’s expectations, all of it takes up a lot of our time and energy. We have very little left for each other at the end of the day. Thank you Allah, my husband did not grumble a single bit but stayed very supportive throughout this tough journey. Little by little, we were building a rock solid foundation for ourselves. For our family. I feel utmost blessed.

Parenthood

2011 is also the year where we compromised our parenting styles.

We prefer to reason and explain things to Audi. It is immaterial to me whether or not he understands. And, as a parent, there sure be a point that one is good then the other.

Syam-love often remembers all the doctor's appointments. Audi had all the relevant jabs to shooh all the bacterias away. He has all his savings and insurance planned out at least to secure bits and pieces of his growing up years. With that, i really thank Syam-love for being such a proactive and definitely a good parent for magnifying on these bits which will definitely be worth for Audi and his future.

I know Syam-love has been making conscious effort to help out more with the Audi and around the house. Prepare milk bottles for the early morning feeds, and even the bag for our outings. He doesn't always do things my way and hey, that's ok. He is making an effort, showing me he wants to be involved and that's good enough for me.

Syam-love and Audi always go for a walk at the park, look at fishes in the pond, watch the still and operated cranes, sit and admire Syam-love's new machine (his new bike). Sometime, like recently when Audi is down with high fever and chicken pox, Syam-love will bring him down to take fresh air as early as 4am just so Audi do not feel cranky and gets back to a good sleep. It's their special time together, and i'm glad they had it. :)

Syam-love certainly makes a better parent that way. :)

After a year or so of intensive ‘on-the-job’ training, I like to think we have found a happy compromise in parenting style we can both live with. I am learning to let go more and be less controlling. I am trying my best not to be a crazy, naggy wife or mother (ha!). And i suppose i haven't been one? :p

We are learning to be more patient and appreciative, more mindful how we talk to each other. We try to make our time with each other, and of course, with Audi.

Weekends are strictly family time. No more soccer games for him or rockclimbing sessions for me, that take us away for half a day (likely, more). But of course things are endlessly compromising. There are days he can have his time while i take the roll or vice versa. He'll have his time for his fishing sessions and i will have a good time with my girlfriends which for me, is good enough. There's a certain rhythm to our days now. We are definitely in a much better place. I'm so thankful.

With my hands so full this year, it was inevitable that I had very little time for everything else. But one thing I am glad I managed to keep up, my friendship with my true girlfriends.

Special thanks to the husband for not only encouraging me keep my true friends but also unquestioningly taking Audi off my hands as and when girlfriends kick in.

Hello 2012

So, lots in store for 2012. I'd always like to make my resolutions simple yet realistic.

In the brand new year, I would like to reclaim a little bit of our before-baby lives. Carry on journaling in this little space of mine because this is where i pen down meaningful memories and that I enjoy it so much. Meet up with girlfriends, and friends who have been communicating online without a chance of a reality meet-up. Travel when we can afford, insya-Allah. I am thinking of eating less meat, more veggies, and of course keep up to this shape, at least. And something that's always in my resolution each and every year, to never fail to be a better person. :)

And then some grand plans for our little family.

We have been saving diligently for some years now preparing for our own place, insya-Allah 3-4 years later. Knowing Singapore, nothing comes in cheaper by the years. We definitely could do with more space and I have been dreaming of it for long enough. I would love to have a place where I can have full reign of the kitchen, host parties and dinners for friends/family, have our own individual workspace and be able to give Audi his own room and of course his own play space. This is definitely a top priority for our savings.

I will not be exploring for any sort of playschool for Audi just yet. I definitely don’t want anything too rigorous now that he is only turning 2. No abacus mental calculation type of classes or whatknots. I just want him to run around, play, draw and colour stuff, sing songs and make new friends. He’s such a social butterfly and i'm sure he'll be a good friend when he grows. He deserves a good childhood, the only time he could have them.

By end of this year, i should be able to hold a paper of which would determine my future too. That paper which involved me with so much sacrifices. That paper which have always put me in tears. That paper which would perhaps put me a step higher in life. Ya Allah, i really hope this year's gonna be a smoother year through my studyhood, insya'-Allah.

So yeah, lots in store and I'm looking forward to all of it!

I always love the positivity and optimism a brand new year brings.

Let's make 2012 count, shall we? :)

"When is Number Two?"

2011-12-27T14:26:00.000+08:00

I have been nudged by alot of common questions. "When is your second baby coming up?", "Number two, girl ok?", "Oh come on, Audi needs company."

This is how it goes. You get married and people ask when you're going to have a kid. You have one, and you get questions about when another is coming.

Another question (and I admit this as it is something I seriously think about too) is how many kids we plan to have. Most people are taken aback when I honestly disclose that I've always wanted 4 kids. Yes, FOUR.

Why FOUR? Well, I think 1-2 are too few. 3 (in my mind) results in one being left out. Therefore, 4 seems the best option. I like the idea of having a big, gregarious family. One that comes together for meals, to share our days, to make messes, to produce happy conversations (and noise) and definitely bring life at home. No, the gender have never been an issue for me.

However, a big BUT to this whole matter is that Syam-love only wants 2 kids. 2 is enough, he says, to which I'll always grin because i certainly understood why 2 is enough. You know it takes aloooot of money to stay in our dear country, Singapore. In this case, having 4 is a luxury, yes? ;))

I may have to eventually eat my words though. It is definitely not easy to juggle 4 financially in this dear country of ours.

Moving on.

This, i admit, have always leave me in guilt.

The original plan was to have another child this in 2012 (that's a week away), two years after Audi was born. I however, was just not ready to go through pregnancy and the works again, especially now that i am still studying. Studies have definitely taken a toll in me and coping with it is just as crazy. Furthermore, we are growing to enjoy Audi more. We are really clueless how it'll be like having an additional count in the family. Not just us, Audi definitely needs to be prepared for this.

In the past month or so, however, both Syam-love and I finally felt ready to prepare for a second child. Another addition to our family that we both agree on. We're prayerful about it, and we have always seek Allah for His provision and blessing in this area. Indeed, if it's a blessing, why not?

Many have always strike a question back at me. What is a certificate compared to receiving another bless by Allah? Honestly, if bless it is, i will never put my studies as a priority at this point. But well, since it hasn't come, why rush?

Life in Singapore doesn't seem to look easy. Neither it is now, nor it will in future. Certificates seems to be the door to a good career, better pay and better future. Seriously, what is a diploma since almost everyone has one?

In the meantime, we'll be going with the flow. If it comes, Alhamdulillah. If it doesn't then perhaps Allah have a better choice for us.

So dear all, i may look chubbier now, but no, I am NOT pregnant (yet). :)
Maybe soon? Insya-Allah. ;)

Simple Joys: Turning Two-Five

2011-12-24T11:59:00.010+08:00

This entry have been in the draft for way too long. Anyway, here goes.

So, while some other cliques of my girl/boy friends have far passed two-five years of their life, i have only stepped into it only a few days back. Well my dear friends, December babies are definitey the babies of the year. We gave way to the elderly, yaw'll. ;)

I turned 25 on 7 December 2011. It is all very bittersweet for me.

On one hand, I am sad to part ways with the fabulous swinging single, carefree early twenties where almost everything and anything was possible. The world was our oyster. I really do feel like I am saying goodbye to a part of myself - a slimmer, bushy-tailed, fresh-faced and much younger me.

At the same time, I am a lot more settled (besides school) and at peace with where I am in life now.

I have a lot to be thankful for - a wonderfully nurturing family and dear old friends (as old as I am now, ha!) who have seen me through thick and thin in the past years, a husband whom I am still crazy in love with and a precious baby boy who never fail to amaze me.

Who would've thought?!

The many laugh lines that now dot and criss-cross my face and those heavy-duty eyebags are but a small price to pay for all of the good things in my life.

Sure I have many things I still want to achieve in my life - build my career, write, travel and go places, design and build my dream house, watch Audi grow up, have an awesome loving family and all of which I have the rest of my life to do. In some ways, it really feels like my life is just beginning, like I have been given a fresh new slate to do anything I will with it. And of course. i am loving every bit of it.

Such is life's simple pleasures, isn't it?

So what's for the birthday this time around?

We started off the evening with just the three of us over at Fish & Co. at the Glasshouse.

From left, the husband (mastermind), yours truly who know nuts that a surprise is coming up, and little audi cutting the knife through the wooden fish-shaped base.

I was then surprised by these awesome people who are that meaningful in my friendship circle.

They had a good meal over at Fish & Co, while i was down with a bad cough so nothing feels real good to keep me full. We rambled our thoughts out and laughed out at how the surprise was prepared. I really enjoyed their company. If you look at the picture closely enough, Audi was in tears, yes? He was an emotional boy of all the tidbits that he saw that night. He cried the moment he saw candles on cakes. He cried when others were singing birthday songs. He cried when i got off my sit to take photos of the rest. And well, he was very protective too. It was the only night that he bahaved as such, for God knows why. Poor boy.

They all rushed down after work/school or even skipped the last few minutes of it just so my surprise went just in time. I was certainly touched! Thank you all for the surprise!

Now, come every birthday girls' favourite, GIFTS!

I did not expect any presents to start with. I must say that i was very surprised to see the amount of presents, or in fact, the kind of presents received. It was beyond words and, really, thank you all so much. I really felt honoured.

And below is my present from Audi. :)

Lyrics, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Bunda. Happy blergh-bla-blergh-laaa-loo."

That was before he hit the sack. THe reason why everything was blank and dark. Thank you, dearest Audi!

Not forgetting my deepest thanks to all the wishes which came through facebook, twitter and sms-es. My apologies if i did not manage to reply to any of your messages, but please do know that i read them and appreciate it much. Thanks a bundle, ya!

Well, two-five seem to be a nice number. It really feels good to be here - turning twenty-five, a working woman, a wife, a mother and pursuing further in my studies. Well yes that sounds good, but hey, it is indeed an 'experience' (need not say more).

Big or small the celebration may be, what matters most on this very day is who i have become and the people that have been with me throughoutt these years.

Count my blessings always, that much I have learnt in my 25 years :)

3 Days 2 Nights in NUH

2011-12-22T13:42:00.002+08:00

Last weekend was unusual. Neither did we go to Orchard Road, nor Mustafa Centre. :(

Audi started off with a mild cough. He must have got it from me as i was coughing all day for the last one week, and you know the cold weather has definitely slows down the recovery period. Soon, flu and fever came by, and that's where the viruses striked him big time.

We went to the General Pactitioner. Audi was given Voltaren, suppository. It is a form of panadol given through his rectum where it dissolves. His fever went down for awhile, and it then shooted up again.

We had sleepless nights. He was awaken by his cough, blocked nose and also very high fever every half-an-hour. He wheezed through the night and vomitted soon after every feed. Worst still, he did not had much intake. Just 10-20mls of milk.

Temperature in the middle of the night, 39.8 degrees celcius. Medicines not helping.

I was tired. We were tired. But nothing stopped us from comforting our dear son.

We have actually planned to do a Station Visit over at Bukit Batok Fire Station the next morning, a Saturday. Audi love looking at ambulances and firetrucks, and we thought, it'll be a nice experience for him to look at them closely, or even have a feeling of being in it. Unfortunately, we all have to let him down (not really).

He looked very lethargy. His eyes could hardly open due to the endless cries and lack of sleep. He wasn't his usual self. At most times when he fell sick, he'll stand very active, but he's different now. He was starring at the walls blankly and looked helpless. Our hearts sank.

Mum said this that morning, "Hani, his cough is rather chesty. I suggest you guys bring him to the hospital. Maybe they can help by giving him the nebuliser (machine that turns liquid medication into a mist so that it can be breathed directly into the lungs through a face mask)."

I was half-hearted. My mind was having many thoughts. "I'm pretty sure the doctors will just give him the usual medications for fever, cough and flu, and that nothing much is to be done." "How long does my son have to wait at the A&E?" "What difference does it make if i bring him to the hospital or not?"

Temperature checked that morning, 38.8 degrees celcius, even after his shower.

Syam-love started to question, "Should we take the ambulance or just call a cab?" We were definitely afraid of his high fever and that if we take our time, something else might trigger. So, ambulance, it is. Now, Audi really have the feeling of being in an ambulance, but not for the fun of it.

He loved the siren. Sometimes, when he hear them he'll go, "Ayah." He always blabber "tee-tot-tee-tot" as soon as he sees ambulances and firetrucks, but now that he's in them, he hugged me tight like a koala bear, looked at me in the eyes and cried. I know he was scared. I know he feels that he's not going to be in comfort zone. As much as i comfort him, i cried and ensure him that things are going to be alright.

It was heartbreaking.

#Day 1

Thank God the Children's A&E over at NUH was not crowded. We was called by the doctor 10 minutes after registration. The doctor was very service-oriented, advisable and child friendly. She tried her very best not to admit Audi as she was aware of the worries of us, parents. She even said this, "Even if Audi wants to drink Coca-Cola, please allow him. He needs to be hydrated, at least."

Temperature checked in A&E, 40.2 degrees celcius.

Audi rejected all his favourite drinks and junks like Yakult and Ribena, and even the lollipops. I know, this is very unusual. The doctor even said, "If Audi can finish at least one whole Yakult, i can consider letting him home."

Unfortunately, Audi didn't. We wanted very much to bring him home and nurse him but something stopped me. My mother, Syam-love and myself are all medically trained. We are capable of taking care of him at home, but no, we shouldn't take that as an excuse. If there is still no intake, Audi will not recover. We can't just go by force as it'll certainly be very unhealthy for him. I know very well that if he is going to be admitted, the medical staffs will fix an IV plug on him for water to flow through to keep him hydrated. It is definitely going to be heartbreaking, but it is for his own good. I can't posibly go home feeling better that he is not admitted rather than seeing him recover fast.

So, yes to admission.

By then, i was already tearing.

I was once a nurse in a high-dependancy neurology ward, where i nurse many patients who are comatos or post brain surgery. I handled all of that with much strength, faith and care. But now, dealing with my own son with fever, my strength have all turned to tears. It was simply heartbreaking looking at my little son, who couldn't verbal pain, turned very helpless, not running around, rejecting everything we gave and all he did was looking at us through his teary eyes.

They fixed the IV plug on his right hand and subsequently took his blood. That point was awefully painful to hear him scream in pain. They had to wrap him up in order to do a speedy procedure to avoid any pulling factor. I know the nurses and doctor had to do that and i can't stop them. That few minutes was a very painful moment for me.

The doctors in the ward was amazing. They did a very good assessment on him and update me accordingly every single time. Blood test was good. Thank God Audi did not had any bacterial infection.

Audi did not get off his bed the whole day, slept through the night from 7.30pm up till the next morning at 8.00am. He must have been very tired.

#Day 2

The doctors was doing their rounds. They loved Audi and his name. Audi have good bedside neighbours too, but unfortunately he wasn't up for playtime just yet.

By day 2, his fever have finally subsided. Alhamdulillah. The only issue he has was his intake. By that time, i believe that he is taking one step at a time. True enough, later that night, he started drinking milk, as much as 150mls every feed, his usual feeding.

I was a happier mother. Everyone else was happier people.

Audi started play time in the evening. He jumps for joy, says hi and bye to everyone and kiss me goodnight. He was very loving to his dad that night too. I am sure Syam-love find it difficult to leave him for home that night.

#Day 3

Audi have fully recovered. He wakes up saying "Hi!" to everyone and had an amazing appetite that morning.

He turn to be somewhat...errmm, different? He blabbers more than you can handle, dance like never before, start eating fully on his own, signals everytime he poo, got more attached to his dad and always asking his dad for fishes. Now, isn't he just advising his dad to have more fishing sessions? Syam-love must be jumping for joy!

Macam orang tua cakap, "Ni demam nak pandai!" Betul pulak eh?! :p

In a nutshell, i'd say that i was really thankful that we have agreed to admit Audi to the hospital. He got so much better at a very good recovery pace.

After the hospital stay, that evening after Audi was discharged, Syam-love treated us with a good meal at Pizza Hut, a place we've not been for quite some time.

Alhamdulillah, Audi is all well and running now. He is back to his bowling games, drumming sessions, dancing along Wheels on the Bus, humming throung songs by Barney, car racing and operating the tractors. We all feel at ease now.

I'm sure you all feel the same too?

To every individual who have wished him well, visited and prayed for Audi, thank you very much from the bottom of our hearts. We couldn't have felt better without all of your support.

:)

This is motherhood. This is parenthood. An experience, indeed.

True Friends Are Gold

2011-11-18T16:58:00.004+08:00

I had a really fun evening yesterday catching up with some good old friends whom i know since i was 13.

We spent a good part of our early teenage years together as class/school mates and the best of buds. I have fond memories of putting up with each other's quirks, cramming for common tests and exams, dealing with curfews, teenage angst, boys, and so forth. Ah, my teenage life would have started out a lot less interestingly if not for them. Really.

So much have happened/changed since we went separate ways after our last year in Secondary School.

And now, some ten-twelve years later, I can't believe we are all grown up, traipsing all over the world for education and work, love, adventure and what-have-yous and some of us are mummies even!

How is it that we still look and behave the same after all these years, save for more laugh lines (okay, wrinkles) on our faces. I really still want to laugh my lungs out like we always do when we meet (insya-Allah) thrity-forty years later. :)

I was really happy seeing my dear friends embrace higher education levels, career, motherhood and never fail to be better people. Everytime i see them, i see a successful woman in every individual.

They are ones i am proud to call, true friends.

Love you all to bits!

"True friendship is never serene." - Mariede Svign

Threesome.

2011-11-04T11:22:00.004+08:00

Think life. It hasn't been easy for me lately.

Yeah yeah yeah, lets repeat, school assignments, workload back in office and parenthood. Now, haven't i (always) miss out wifehood?

It's crazy how much a marriage changes once you have a kid and the whole parenting hoopla takes over. It is so easy to just roll with the punches and not question where the relationship is going. We lose sight of each other and forget who we once were – from crushes to enemies then good friends, partners, lovers - before we became parents. Honestly i'd say, i miss those moments.

I blame myself for the decision to continue school, not stop working and blend motherhood altogether. It's definitely for better days ahead, but however deep in me, i know precious times with my loved ones are definitely altered.

Audi, on the other hand, have been such lovely son. During nights i had to attend class, he'll wait for me to be home, sometimes sit at the door with a wide smile and his sleepy eyes. He must at all times have Syam-love and myself by him, sing songs and do our prayers before he hits the sack at night. When weekends come, he'll automatically wakes up later than usual because he sees us not rushing off for work, sleeping comfortably by him.

As much as he tires me out on a daily basis, it is very difficult for me to fathom not being around him for a few hours daily (that makes many hours in all). He is like a very natural extension of me. I just know I miss him terribly, and i know how much he needs both of us, me and Syam-love.

I am already suffering from an acute sense of mummy and wife guilt! Sigh, I am every bit guilty as charged.

Now, lets thank the weekends for being good days for us. Good days for us to have our threesome time which brought so much meaning to have had much quality time together. Time was never enough for us, but at least we did had it.

Since we didn't have very much to do in Singapore, we decided to head down for a short trip to Kuala Lumpur (KL). It was also our 2.5 years anniversary, so yeap, why not have a good time right? This trip was meant for us to reconnect and relive. :)

My groupmates back in school must be cursing me to bits because we are nearing to our project deadline and here i am, as the leading person of the project, having all the fun with my two heroes. Well ladies, thank you so much for understanding! Love you all.

Right, back to the KL trip, yeah, what's there to really get all hippy about KL, right? *sings* Always look on the bright side of life! *whistles*

We board a luxury bus that has definitely met our comfort needs, especially now that Audi is travelling with us. 5 long hours wasn't that bad afterall. Audi slept most of the time while I manage to catch up on a good nap I have long deprived since motherhood striked. Love, however, couldn't get to sleep. So he movie-marathoned throughout the whole journey.

We checked-in to Parkroyal Service Suite. I was very much convinced with the service they provided. The setting of the suite was awesome-powsome indeed!

Audi might have thought this is his own home with a good kitchen setup, living room, the baby cot, spacious place to run and noone else around. Sorry baby boy, that was just temporary. :)

We spent a lot of time chilling out together. It was kinda nice being on a trip and not having to rush from place to place sight-seeing for once! For the very first time, yours truly prefers to lay back at the hotel room rather than getting out to venture around. Something very unusual isn't it? :)

BUT, with an itchy butt and a very understanding husband in toll, i still went shopping anyway. I'm sorry, but thats's something i can't stop myself from when i'm abroad, looking at something good that is charging at a cheaper price as compared to our dear country, Singapore. Well, i promise i didn't did much shopping anyway. HAHA!

Surprisingly, this time around, Syam-Love did more shopping than i do. I was in need of a good massage then, but well, didn't think that was a good place to get one, plus too bad we couldn't do a good massage with a kid in tow.

We slept early, got up early, went for leisurely buffet Italian breakfast the next morning, bubble baths in the comfort of our lush hotel room and watched more Disney Junior than I would have liked :)

2-day-1-night was just it. The most interesting revelation last weekend is that I enjoyed spending two good, solid days with my two heroes. Away from workloads. Away from school assignments. Away fromt he busy land called Singapore.They make for a really delightful companion and i am definitely blessed to have them in my life.

The break was fun while it lasted! I really do not mind short trips, really. It's all meaningful, i'd say.

Love you both to bits.

Life's back to reality, with a happier heart. :)

A Note to Audi

2011-10-05T14:21:00.001+08:00

Dearest Audi,

My little wise one, just when you flash your smile, it instantly lights up your face perfectly to shine.

These days, you want attention when I get home, you never really bothered till recently. I try and give you all the time you need most nights but some nights I get home late due to the always-horrible-traffic in town and the PIE, while there are nights that i had to attend lessons and do up my assignments.

I love our time together during the nights, though i felt all drained out after a whole day of work or work and school. We cuddle, laugh, sing, or count the glow-in-the-dark stars and when you’ve had enough of me, you'd ask for milk. But of course there are days I can tell you just want to sleep. You usually don’t make much of fuss, just get comfy and zzz but when you do, I just tell you ‘no no no, sleep’ and it seems to work. I don’t linger for more than 5 minutes before I go and spend a few minutes with Ayah, your dad, before he goes to bed as well.

Last few nights wasn't really good. The flu bug striked and irritate the hell out of you. Plus, your dear mollars are growing. Teething times are bad huh? The sucky thing about teething is when you get up in the middle of the night, either because your nose is running or your gums are hurting, you’re impossible to put back to bed. Well, i must say that teething really throws all sleep training out the darn window.

It’s different now that i'm already a mother. A mother to you. True, I can’t spend as much time with you as I did because work and school does not permit me as much to do so. I do hate silly people who point that out, I mean come on, there’s just one of me and I’m trying my best at this point while i can for the best of us too. I just hope you know that. You’re not second best in anyway. I guess, knowing that you're my only son, I want to savour every little bit of your toddlerhood and beyond. I’m in no hurry to see you run and hear you talk, as long as you’re reaching the milestones at the correct time, I’m happy, I don’t want to rush anything at all. I take the time to smell your baby smell, stroke your head, tickle your tummy and nibble your toes. It’s a different kind of special and it’s just for you.

My little charm one, something tells me you’re very special. I know I’ve mentioned this soooo many times but you’re such a darling child; smart, funny, independent, entertaining and loving all rolled into one. I know one day I’m most likely going to be singing a totally different tune (for a while) but I love this stage of you and you’ll always amaze us. ps: Ayah always says that you are indeed a bless to us.

Meanwhile, my prayers for your speedy recovery. Get well soon because we've got days ahead awaiting for fun!

Love you,

Bunda

Time of My Life

2011-08-31T10:59:00.004+08:00

Please excuse my absence. I am very much tight up juggling work, school and family all at once. Seems that 'busy' is the buzzword now. Either that, or 'tired'. Not an excuse. I really am. True enough, i need no reality check for now. This IS reality.

As much as i am tired, i am still happy! Should i say, I'm too busy having a life to have the time to be blogging it? ;)

Hang on there ya. I'll be back with entries as soon as i end my examinations by middle of September!

When the examintaions and Hari Raya clashes, what am i suppose to feel exactly?! 'Perfecto'!

Amirah's 12th Birthday

2011-08-04T11:38:00.004+08:00

You’ve grown too speedily since the day I met you in year 2006.

You used to tear out of crankiness when you get sleepy, waiting for your food to be served on the table at the coffee shop. You were able to stop eating half way, put your food aside and lean your head on the table to sleep. You would hide behind mummy to hide from me and you tried not to talk much because you were shy.

Now, you can sleep anywhere and anytime in any position. Get all fun and hippie the moment we both get Bubble Tea. Hug your bears like no other. You never fail to shine the lights on me on what I wear. You can literally take out anything in your room just so Audi is happy to be at your place. You offer me chocolates and our favourite porridge to eat together. You would sometimes get my suggestions on what you should wear for the day.

Oh babe, you’re so different now from the day we first met. You are now such a lovely girl I know, and i've always like to spent my time with you (because we are equally crazy).

Happy 12th Birthday, Baby Girl! May Allah bless you in your steps striving the present and the future, Insya-Allah. And for the record,

From left: Aunt Hani, Amirah Nuraqilah (Birthday Girl!), Seri Umairah (Cousin), Aunt Ayu.

Don’t the nieces and aunts look just the same, perhaps our height? ;p

We hope you had a blast, babe!

Lots of Love,
Aunt Hani-Hani-BoBani

Sweet Child O Mine

2011-07-08T00:30:00.001+08:00

Dear Audi,

Happy 16 months (and 4 days), baby boy.

Yes, I have my hands so full with you ever since parenthood strikes its cord, along with fulfilling my career aim, it’s so hard to squeeze some time out to write! You know I love you more than my blog, don't you? ;)

Well, i have a full-feldged toddler living with me now. I think your father and I, even your grandparents, are in denial that you’re growing at such an incredible rate. It has been such a treat to see the person you have become; your charming and boisterous nature, your hearty belly laughs, your sweet little surprise flying kisses and all the funny little quirks that make you, you. You are indeed a quintessential boy.

You jumped around the house doing kicks and such, marching all around yourself, verbalised baby talks and presented all sorts of stretching position - you actually look so convincing that Ninda (Grandma) has been telling me we should send you for martial arts/karate classes or perhaps the gym for toddlers like you when you are a bit older!

You cheer up instantly the moment you hear your favourite songs on the television or YouTube; Hokey Pokey, Mr Sun, If You’re Happy and You Know, and of course The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars. It has been an ongoing collaborative effort between us. It is such joy to see your little face light up in anticipation of your favourite parts or your hilarious interpretation of all the little hand and body actions. But the moment I grab my darling iPhone to record your precious moments, you snap off and stop all that cute little things. How could you?

You're such an intelligent tod who has good motor skills and learnt many of the 'B's recently; balls, balloon, bubble, bus and now, 'bawang' (Bibik, our helper, taught you! That's onion in Malay).

You do enjoy and behaves whenever you're out with us. However though, nowadays, we don't do so well in shopping malls because all you want to do is run around, get on every single coin-operated ride, balls and balloons in sight. Not to mention, you really can make us chase after you all round IMM. You are always zipping around at top speed with no particular destination in mind. You just like to zooooom! Good job, buddy. You just made me loose a kilogram and get hungry all over again! HEH!

You have taken a new interest of reading, writing, and even fine arts. You read with the books covering your face, write on the tiles instead of papers and book, but in arts, you do just fine, surprisingly.

Your favourite thing to do now is toss and turn around with me before you head to sleep, giggle at me when I start to make your favourite silly faces, jump on the bed and feel the bounce, kick the ball like a football player, ride the motorbike like a racer and hold on to keys like you know which keyhole it belongs to.

All that said, how can i not resist you? Lets take a glance on the best of you. There are too many of it but these are some that i managed to grab. Here you go!

Audi, say cheeeeese!

You can never leave your eyes on any steering wheel in sight.

Watching BabyTV on your favourite float with a steering wheel on it.

Tasted something sour, i see?!

This, i call, BUSINESS TIMES. :))

Your favourite sleeping position.

Your favourite playmate, cousin Hamzah. You wake him up when he sleeps, call him out to play and always pays a visit into his room. Not forgetting, always shares your toys with him, and even your 'busuk'! Darling, he doesn't really need to smell your pillow, you know.

Here's your BabyTV time together. I'm guessing the show wasn't really fantastic?

And here are some vids of you, you cute little buddy!

Kinect with four of your amazing cousins.

That ride on your 'Harley Davidson' bought by Aunt Ayu and family.

And here, I've saved the best for last. You really touched my heart the moment you stand by any one of us during solat and imitate our every move. Excuse the blur picture below. That was the best shot i could get. And that video, my deepest syukur to Allah, i teared in happiness as a mother.

Its amazing how you love listenig to prayers and sometimes even try to follow them. You have also get the hang of listening to selawat before you sleep.

Ah, you are growing up so fast. Just know that I love our days together, the good, the bad and all the in-betweens. I can never thank Allah enough for a son like you because even at your most active moments while i was feeling all drained-out, my love for you is undivided.

You are indeed the most meaningful gift I ever had.

Lots of love and a very tight hug,

Bunda

The Gift

2011-07-07T17:46:00.002+08:00

This is a little outdated, but well, for the record, this is what i received on Fathers' Day 2011. :))

Yeah yeah, who's the father, you'd ask?!

Booohooooooooooo!!! Thank you, my Kueh Tart (our version of sweetheart)!

This is probably my gift for being the most irritating wife ever. :))

Yours Truly,
Happy Mummy.

Life's Simple Pleasures

2011-07-01T23:06:00.003+08:00

I’d like to share this with you, because well, I personally feel that these are good points we should practice in our daily lives. Here you go!

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

4. Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy

5. Play more games.

6. Read more books than you did in 2010.

7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

8. Sleep for 7 hours.

9. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

10. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

11. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

12. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.

13. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.

15. Dream more while you are awake.

16. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

17. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

18. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.

19. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

20. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

21. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

22. Smile and laugh more.

23. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

24. Call your family often.

25. Each day give something good to others.

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

28. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Stay in touch with your friends.

Life:

31. Do the right thing!

32. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

33. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. The best is yet to come.

36. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Second & Beyond.

2011-04-27T15:12:00.004+08:00

I've often hear people say that the first 3 years of marriage is the utmost challenging phase any newly married couple would go through. I am not at any stand to agree or disagree as i believe that challenges may come every other day whether or not one is married or single, yes? I'll let these years speak for itself.

But well, if the above said is true, then love and i are at our 2/3 journey of the 3 years marriage challenge, and i must say WALLA! We did it!

Honestly, even if it is just for 2 years, the challenge of being a wife and also a mother is not an easy juggle. Much thanks to all the support i received and my faith within, it has pulled me through thus far. Alhamdulillah.

So well, i totally enjoyed my long weekend with a blast! We had family time, threesome time (love, audi & myself), twosome time (us without Audi) and friend-friend time. Ah hah! All-in in just that weekend. Perfect combo, isn't it?

We started off with an outdoor photoshoot with the man himself, Yazid.

We were all comfortable having Yazid as our photographer that morning, who is also Syam-love's colleague in the SCDF. Yazid was very patient with us and Audi. He kept things cool while Audi got all cranky because well, this little boy of mine dislikes to be at the same spot for very long. So we had to do a lot of distractions just so pictures could appear good enough. Parents, you understand what i mean, don't you? ;)

Cheerios to Yazid's lovely artwork!

Thank you Yazid for your time with us on a weekend, and your precious off-day. Your patience and commitment to making the photoshoot a smooth one was truly appreciated, what more of the quality of the pictures produced. Thumbs up, dude! And thank you for the nice walk at the park early that morning. ;)

Now peeps, are you already having thoughts of your personal photoshoot with your family and friends? Then I'd say don't miss the chance, because why, good things doesn't come by often, yaw'll? One of my girlfriend already have Yazid in mind for her family photoshoot soonest.

So if you love his arts in photography, email him at yazidrashid@gmail.com and he'll give you his response accordingly. Or if you'd love to see more of his artwork in other/different aspects, you would want to add him in Facebook. Don't miss it, peeps!

Now, back to the story of my second year anniversary.

Waddup after our perfect photoshoot?

We had a good breeze with two of the lads, Firr and Khai, over at Marina Barrage with the sky almost filled with kites. Love bought for Audi a new pair of shoes tailored to his comfort to bring him that motivation to walk. Audi felt all delighted to have buddies around him, guiding him to walk and have a good time all at once.

Firr and Khai never fail to give their support to us now as parents. They love Audi and took care of him whenever we are out together. Sometimes, we don't really need a big event to have good bonding, do we? A breeze at the Marina Barrage along with good company and smiles is all that matters.

Thank you you both for sticking through us though parenthood have taken a toll on our daily life now. We appreciate your every deed. :)

So whats my favourite catch for this year's anniversary? Ah hah! It is certainly our date with Simba! Yeeehaaaa!

I fell for Simba the moment he was born up till now that he is married with a child! HAHA! Just in case some of you may not have enough of a good childhood, i am not falling for a man with a family but for a Lion in a cartoon character (who is also now in theatre!). :)

It was awesome! The real true fact that I'm a die-hard fan for theatre, i give Lion King in MBS full marks for their awe performance. They put me into tears, really. From full-house audience, to props, to every individual character (including the supporting cast), their individual vocal, their individual moves, and all as a whole, I'd say these are true talents.

Now whose talent do i salute and envy most? Definitely, she, who sang tremendously with good vocal and i must say, i love her character. Teeheeeee!

I'd love to attend that same theatre show again! Well, I'll never turn my back on these phrase in my dictionary of life, "Performing arts is love". I really hope to live day and night in the theatre but then again, reality strikes in no dream.

Moving on.

After the whole emo session with the lion kingdom, we both walked down to Marina Square, through the newly build bridge and all of the others that perhaps taking a picture of it will prolly be of good memory when Audi turns 18? Perhaps telling Audi, "Dude, this building was up when you were born!" HAHAHA! Ambitious or whaaat!

So here, just for the record.

And of course, what did we had for dinner in Marina Square? Manhattan Fish Market!

Oh, do you know, or does anyone of you happen to realise that the Manhattan Fish Market in Plaza Singapura is so different from the outlet in Marina Square in all angle? From the taste of food to the customer service. I definitely vote for Manhattan Fish Market in Marina Square because they had it all tip-top! Thank goodness, there was no reason to spoil our second year anniversary dinner date. :)

Now that was our twosome time! :)

Threesome yet again? Of course we never fail to do so.

We both took leave on the Monday, which is the official date of our second anniversary, and what did we do? Swimming with Audi!

Swimming would make Audi the most happiest baby alive. Audi subconsciously learnt to walk in the pool while having his float with him.

He actually surprised us with an independent walk, needless of hands held. He smiled the whole day! He did not sleep well, prolly trying to stay awake and happy with us around. Now, that's the best gift we had for our anniversary! Thank you Audi dear. You never fail to enlighten us. :)

We couldn't take good shots of our swimming session as we were to happy having quality time and water splashing all over us. Those shall remain as good memories to remember.

Enough said. That's how our long weekend on our second anniversary have gone. Not so much but its tremendously meaningful to me to have my loved ones by me, still. That's all that matter.
Time really flies when you're having fun! Fret not, more fun are coming up on the coming weekends and following months. Weeee!

Beneath all of this, i must say that it's all worth the sacrifices made. Sacrifices as a wife, sacrifices as a mother. Sacrifices for being a better person, myself. Alhamdulillah, and thank you Allah for giving me the strength and faith to persevere.

On a deeper note,

Dear love,

Thank you for the years spent together though they may not shine all the time. We'll agree that the darkness have brought us to be a better person, better husband/wife and a better parent in all. Thank you for gripping me up when you see me falling and thank you for curving up my lips to smile when times ain't easy. I thank Allah for lending you to me in this temporary world, though not for long, that's where i should appreciate every moment of us.

Words couldn't speak as much as my heart does, so i am letting it be. Sometimes, whats in the heart are just meant to be there, not uttered.

A very Happy 2nd Wedding Anniversary to you and us! May Allah bless us always, insya'Allah.

xoxoxo

Yours truly,
Your Little Miss xxxxx :)

And, thank you all for your support in all angles and prayers though not seen but still won't be forgotten. Of coz , my deepest thanks to my family and in-laws for they never fail to be there whenever we need a turning point. Not forgetting, dengan berkat Allah. Alhamdulillah.

Cheerios to our blissful two years of marriage!

:)

Sleep Baby Sleep

2011-04-15T14:00:00.002+08:00

Remember this this little baby of ours?

Now, you might not expect this little baby to sleep just as obedient as that. Well, you prolly would want to make a guess what Audi is dreaming of? :)

Yet another bittersweet of the 'growing up' passage, isn't it?

Its been said in articles that one new potential sleep disturbance at this age is dreaming. Between 12 to 14 months, toddlers start actively dreaming, and a dream can actually startle them from their sleep. True enough, this little tot of mine used to wake me up in the middle of the night, not just for milk feeds, but cries and yearns for cuddle too.

Thank God for us creating our beloved bedtime ritual. Nearing Audi's sleeping time, we'll change him to comfort zone for sleeping time to pajamas and a comfortable diaper, kiss and hug his grandparents before he heads to the room. And as soon as he jump onto that bed, he'll immediate crawl to where we place a blissful picture of the three of us and he'll point his fingers to everyone in the picture with a smile. As a parent, i feel touched and loved with just that gesture. Afterwhich, Syam and i will cuddle up with Audi and have a few minutes of a toned-down fun-pampering time, followed by a short prayer and this little tot of ours will slowly go to sleep. :)

Fortunately, Audi is very comfortable sleeping on his own in the cot. He has grown so big and loooong. I can't believe he used to be able to fit into his cot width-wise! Now, it seems that i often have mild heart-attack listening to his feet banging the cot's rail at any four sides whilst he's asleep at night, even with the bumper at the sides. Don't tell me to change his cot, because even on the Queen size bed we have, he sleeps and move around anywhere in all sorts of pose within just one night. During those times, he is a bit of a bed hogger with a penchant for sleeping with his hands and feet slapping on our faces. Dang!

Now, i am really thankful this baby boy of mind doesn't mind sleeping alone in the cot. It saves us alot of bruises, really. ;)

Nevertheless, he still snuggles up to me before bed or in the early mornings. He seems to have cottoned on to the idea that he, and his soft pals (will talk about this on another entry), are to stay put in his own bed (and not sandwiched between Ayah & Bunda) come bedtime. Mission accomplished!

Afterall, you are still our sweetheart, little one. :)

Much hugs and kisses!

Milestone - ONE

2011-03-14T23:00:00.008+08:00

In a blink of an eye, the time is here, Audi's biggest milestone thus far - TURNING ONE!

Here's an entry of the big day, which were shared with our family and closest friends - people who gave us that strength and support right from my first and only pregnancy thus far till Audi turns one. I was not able to grab a truckload of pictures as everyone was busy celebrating the day that we put our cameras aside. But nevertheless, there are some i have in hand which i'll be sharing soon. Looking back at these photos, it sure makes us feel that all the effort and expenses that was spent was worth every drop of sweat, every single penny and every sleepless night. Our heartfelt thanks to our dear relatives and close friends for sharing our special day with us and making it all the more memorable! :)

The Party Invites

We actually decided to give every family, couple and individuals an invitation card. I wanted to do it full blast DIY, in a scrapbook style, i thought. But because time did not permit me to and because i do not believe in giving out something done half-hearted, i did not proceed. With that fact, i resulted to e-cards! Simple, nice, no need to throw down the bin, no paper wasted. Save the Earth!

Photoscape do wonders, and absolutely accessible. Ciber world makes it all easier for a pemalas-nak cepat-perfectionist like me. :)

As my hotmail contact list have gone all haywire, my sincere thanks to cousin, Yasmin Yusof, for all the e-mail addresses of the family.

The Theme

My mind twisted and turn deciding on the theme, along with that, the decorations. I'm not just a perfectionist, i'm also a darn fickle-minded woman. I wish Audi could tell me what cartoon character he likes or at least what his favourite colour is, but I can't blame him, can i? All thanks to our time spent together for me to spot on his interest. He likes playing with cars and trucks. That resulted the theme to Disney Cars with the colours red & yellow (mainly). :)

Thanks a bundle do dear nieces, sister-in-law and hubby for helping out on the decorations and made it all so easy for me. Without those helping hands, i bet i'll take hours to do them. Thank you very much!

The Guestbook

When Audi turns to the age where he is weary of things around him, i am sure he would want to know who have attended his very first birthday. The guestbook will be of good use to state the presence of every individual and of course, their wishes for him. I read a few of them to Audi the night after the celebration. You guessed it right, he looked clueless and soon after, he goes zzZzz. Poor boy. Not to worry, i will keep that book for good memories he can revert to anytime in the near future.

My very sincere thank to Shairah Shazana for making this creative guestbook for the event. Mind you, she did it within days she was due for labour. Thumbs up, babe! And thank you so much! ;)

The Food-Oh-Glorious-Food

The most important section of all, i'd say. I was pretty particular on how the taste of food would turn out and so i still and will always result to food cooked by my very own family.

Mama's special recipe of all time - Morrocan Rice

You'll never want to miss this out as you'll never find this elsewhere but by my very own beloved mum. Exclusive!

This you'll never want to miss out on most birthdays, Fried Bee Hoon. Courtesy of Mak(Mum-in-law).

All nicely BBQ-ed food done by Abg Nafi and his team. Thank you so much for the nicely cooked BBQ food. You sure have all the patience throughout the day. Because if you'd tell me to do BBQ for many hours, i will nag my way thru! Thank you very much!

Of course, fruits to cool off the day, :)

Adding on the arrays of food served are the candies and desserts.

Tell me they do look awesome?! Much thanks to Nani for the homemade cakes and candies arranged so nicely. WE ALL LOVE IT! I'd say i can;t take my eyes off that table. :)

The Birthday Favors

Who would want to step out a party empty handed? Since many have come with gifts and such for Audi, we had cupcakes as a note of thanks to all for your attendance to make Audi's birthday bash a memoriable one. Of coz, my deepest thanks to cousin Iffa Syafiqa who have squeezed in time in between school just to do the nicely baked cupcakes. Thank you so much, dear Iffa! :)

The Birthday Cake

I'd say this is the best looking children cake i've seen throughout my life.

It didnt melt right from the start of the party till the cut-cake session even without having to place it in the refrigerator. Best part it, many did not even knew it was a cake when i place it at the reception table. They even hold it and no, it did not stain them. Naughty you all little fingers, i had to give it a good wipe so to ensure that everyone won't go back witha tummy ache. :p

So, with the splendid looking cake along with a yummy taste, my big thanks to Nani for the great artwork. Salutes.

The Bash

We had lots of presents to open the next day...and not to mention a scary-merry-bubble-tea transport back home! Oh, hubby actually rented a van for us to load in all our baggages and presents back home, not knowing that the driver was extremely sleepy. Tell me about it. Endless prayers from Pasir Ris all the way to Bukit Panjang! =)

Thank you everyone for taking time to share the special day with us. Thank you for your well-wishes and your beautiful presents too. But most important of all, thank you for your presence, and making the day all the more memorable for us. We had a great time together!

Lots of love,
Hani along with hubby, Syam, and lovely son, Audi.

The Rise of the Datin(s)

2011-02-15T11:39:00.017+08:00

Theme of wedding, Royal Traditional.

When Aidah revealed the theme, of course up next in mind is, "What to wear?"

My mind spontaneously thought of Songket, a hand-woven piece of brocaded (textured) fabric consisting of either cotton, polyester or silk as the base material with gold or silver threads. Oh, my favourite fabric other than linen and thai silk. Thanks to Mama who thought me the wonders of those fabric. :) Well, why songket? Because it is the easiest and simplest fabric to go on a wedding dinner without having to wear excessive gold accessories. Ya, GOLD, very melayu. Its knowing how to wear it, though. :)

Events with the girlfriends are such that we get all excited on the theme and where the event will be held. Must dress accordingly mah! Narz was telling me, "Eh i don't have blink-blink." I replied, "Go spotlight and buy the blinks then paste it to your costume." She ignored. Then comes a message where she said that she'll fix a blink-blink fake eyelash instead. Me, being me, "Ha pakai banyak2 sampai tak nampak depan skali." She replied, "Go die." And i go, "If i die, you come to my funeral with those lashes, confirm aku bangun!" :p

I really wonder if ever we girls could not joke about anything and have a serious conversation. Well, we do, but 7 out of 10 of our conversations we had are somewhat silly. They are silly to laugh at but there are hidden messages to dote on to sometimes. We all know. :)

Well, back to the Datin(s). I bet some of you might have watched the sinetron in Suria, Datin Diaries. They aren't those typical Datin(s) with the jambul and botox-ed features but rather look more simpler and modernised. Like here,

They don't look too bad, isn't it? Some ladies wished they look like Nasha Aziz (extreme left). Well, i rather not call her Datin but a Princess instead.

Anyhoos, based on the simplicity of these Datin(s), i guess we all do not have to fix that Jambul and the botox-ed look. So now, let me present to you the Datin(s) from the HDB estate of the West!

From your left: Datin Mummy, Datin Preggy, Datin Pokok and Datin AZ.

Not forgetting our host, Datin Jane, who is standing in the middle.

Here's Datuk S1(left) and Datuk S2(right).

Datuk S1 won the Best Datuk award in Pesta Perdana dua ribu sembarang. HAHAHA! He got that because we happen to be sitting on Table 1!

Meet the Pouty Datin(s) of all time. :D

And lastly, of course the most important people of the day, family of the bride. Thank you so much for the invitation.

To Kak Ju, congratulations on your wedding and may your marriage be happy and blessed! And thanks for turning us out to be Datin(s) & Datuk(s) for the day.

"Age appears to be best in some things. Old wood best to burn. Old rice best to eat and old friends best to keep."

Much love,
Hani

Words Do Wonders!

2011-02-09T12:08:00.045+08:00

I am not proud to tell you this, but let me share with you a story of the Word Translator online which burst me into laughter.

I am not splendid with malay language. I definitely understand the language but if you ask me to speak professionally in fluent malay, i fail. Honestly, i am not proud of that. I really wish i can speak Malay fluently, blame myself, i hope i had really focus on that language back then during my school days. Ni ar Melayu.

So this weekend will be the wedding of Aidah's elder sister. The theme for the wedding is Royal Traditional. So i was joking around with Nazra, "Fix on the fake eye lashes!", "Wear blink-blink!", etc. And i have come to a conclusion that i want to call the six-tweens, The Datin(s) just for the day. Royal mah!

I then went into naming them individually. For example, i'd like to call myself, Datin Mummy. So, i named them one by one and shared it with Narz. When it comes to Suliana, i was thinking, okay great PRINCIPAL, as she have pulled all her effort thru making herself a Principal in Pre-School. I do not want to call Datin Principal, so i was thinking, what is principal in Malay. Some said, Guru Besar, while the others said, Pengetua. True to both, but as usual to satisfy myself, i googled and cousin actually helped me by forwarding a link, http://www.malaytranslate.com/.

I typed PRINCIPAL under the English Language to translate it to Malay, guess what word popped out?!
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POKOK! (which means tree)
Huh? Pokok? Aku salah type ke. So i typed again,
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Yes, the same word appeared,
POKOK!

From there, i really felt that i can be kuku with my language but i am not as silly as that. Am i right to say that I may be stupid but that does not mean you can make me stupid? I was literally laughing out loud and sharing this with Nazra, who is a teacher in school.

"Narz, imagine me entering a school, saw a malay principal and wish, SELAMAT PAGI POKOK!"

There, don't always trust what is in the internet!

Fly Me to Bangkok!

2011-02-07T16:03:00.002+08:00

I have beeen going in and out of Malaysia lately due to work and short trips. I was given a couple of reminder to change my passport each and everytime i was at the custom. One, because it is expring this year, two, because the picture then is different now. I can't help but really to get my passport change as soon as posible. They made me look almost illegal immigrant. :( (haahaahaa!)

Muke kental semacam on the passport is one thing, date due in December is another thing. I thought i can still travel with that passport 'till June? 6 months kan? Why push me for this now. Like now that i am nearing my Bangkok trip. Bikin darah wa naik babe.

Furthermore, i have been receiving threats that Bangkok customs are far more strict and ridiculous if they choose to. I was wondering, what if i don't get the new passport done on time and have no choice but to use the old passport? Ni yang tak syiok ni. Tak aman sey nak pergi holiday.

Annual leave applied, flight and accomodation booked. When everything goes smoothly, the utmost important key to travel goes haywire.

ICA, please, can you spare me less than 2 weeks to get my passport done? I'm really gonna be very upset if you're gonna take any later that that! I'm counting on you!

Nak pergi Bangkok... :(

Junk In!

2011-01-24T12:32:00.002+08:00

I finished my truckload of assignments. Yes, truckload, with very limited time frame. It was crazy, but here, to cool off the day, i did additions to the sidebar of my blog.

To those who do not have a twitter account, I've added a tagboard, a scalable tagging and commenting system that enables you to leave your messages and talk to each other. That way, we can communicate randomly at any times available. Ramble your way there. :)

I've also added a section i'd like to share which i'd pop into daily, Good Reads. Peep into them as and when. You'll find it interesting, but of course, links like Baby Center wouldnt really apply to everyone's need, but hey, they are interesting and good to know though.

Next, i added in Fashion Toasts to the sidebar. Those are fashion trends i like looking at and perhaps some are of those i bought. Take a look at them, they may be the kind of fashion you'd like too! :)

Lastly, Followers. Bloggers, you're kindly invited to tap on that button if you are keen to follow. Heh!

That's it for now. I won't be filling this blissful page with lots of junks as much as i want to keep it simple. Have a goodie-good week yaw'll!

:))

Love,
Hani

tag-a-tag-tag

2011-01-13T17:37:00.007+08:00

As requested, I've added the T A G B O A R D over on the right side bar.
You may now utilise it. Heh!

Tag on, peeps!

Much love,
Hani

A Happy Chap

2011-01-12T18:00:00.000+08:00

Where did the time go? And where is my baby?

Time speeds isn't it? It was just 10 months ago when Audi was born but hey, he's 2 months away from his first birthday! Oh dear...! I have not done the necessities, though i have already start planning in late November last year. Kiasu or whaaat!

Audi have been all great and fine (besides the fact that he is currently experiencing slight flu and cough).

Not so long ago, Audi was a contented baby who lie on his comfy bed or stroller and watch the world go by. But now, that he have grown by the weeks, he have gone thru milestones; he is crawling everywhere, pull himself up to a standing position and walk along furniture, possibly trying to take his first steps. 5 teeth are already visible on his gums. His motor skills are doing just as fine. He can now pick up small little tiny winny things on the floor. He is indeed a detailed person. He doesn't care if you show him a big colourful toy so long as that strand of hair on the floor is not removed. Yes, he is detailed to that extend. Blame who?! (doo-doo-dooo-dooo-dooooo)

OH! I must tell you that he loves peek-a-boo to bits. Not bad ehk?! Its quite easy to please babies afterall. What more of his control fire truck. All eyes on the truck the moment i start controlling it. He doesnt mind crawling his way to the truck just as long as he's satisfied catching up to its speed.

Audi is one baby who is not a big fan of toys. But what does he plays with? Well, give him your pots and pans from the kitchen, he'll be glad to bang them and make music out of it. And everytime he bangs them, he'll scream or voice out melodeous baby languages. So i guess he was jamming or something. HAHAHA! Rock jugak anak aku ni. I must admit that he is physically very active.

I am not stressing on his development nor am i gong to pressurise of why is he not doing this or that yet. I believe that everyone is an individual. So is my baby. Audi may not start walking yet but ,insya'Allah, he will in time. Afterall, we all wish we are babies back again. So the best i can do for him is at least let him enjoy this journey as a baby since he's gonna enter to another stage called toddler pretty soon. Life, nothing can rewind. :(

One part of me feels sad looking at the speed of his growth because i definitely miss seeing him as that little baby in his cot, sleeping so comfortably. While another part of me is happy that Audi have grown to a stage where we can giggle and have fun together. Well, i'm not there yet. But i am definitely looking forward to that stage where i am able to enjoy excursions to the Zoo or the Bird Park together with him. Dang! I bet its all fun!

Regardless of how i feel, guess we(myself, syam-love and of coz Audi) have come a long way from the day of his birth. And Audi is certainly not looking back! So are we!

Right now, i hope to plan a good one-year-ol birthday bash for him. I know he may not remember this day when he grows, but well, in this modern world, what are our cameras for, right? Furthermore, he deserve a heck of a celebration after all the challenges of trying to adapt. From bottle feeds to spoon feeds. From cereals to rice. From normal diapers to pull-ups. From lying down to turning. From turning to sitting up. From tummy-on-the-ground- to tummy-up. From tummy-up to crawling. From crawling to sitting. From sitting to standing. From just starring to picking up exactly what he wants. From crying to really play catching with his parents. And from toothless to 5 tiny teeth! Tell me now does he deserve a good celebration?!

I'm all excited for the days and months to come. Coz i'm pretty sure that for once, i'm loving this moment i call motherhood. Its tough as thats how reality strike but hey, it's just knowing how to do it well and how you can squeeze fun into it.

To all mothers, you sure know what i mean.

This way, you know how our mothers had brought us up. Its not easy. Definitely not, but its the fun that keep us going.

Adios Amigos!

Much love,
Audi's Bunda.

Smile!

2011-01-12T09:55:00.005+08:00

1. Savor Everyday Moments

Pause now and then to smell a rose or watch children at play. Study participants who took time to “savor” ordinary events that they normally hurried through, or to think back on pleasant moments from their day, “showed significant increases in happiness and reductions in depression.”

2. Avoid Comparisons

While keeping up with the American culture, comparing ourselves with others can be damaging to happiness and self-esteem. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, focusing on our own personal achievement leads to greater satisfaction.

3. Put Money Low on the List

People who put money high on their priority list are more at risk for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. The more we seek satisfactions in material goods, the less we find them there. Money-seekers also score lower on tests of vitality and self-actualization.

4. Have Meaningful Goals

People who strive for something significant, whether it’s learning a new craft or raising moral children, are far happier than those who don’t have strong dreams or aspirations. As humans, we actually require a sense of meaning to thrive. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable.”

5. Take Initiative at Work

How happy you are at work depends in part on how much initiative you take. We express creativity, help others, suggest improvements, or do additional tasks on the job, we make our work more rewarding and feel more in control.

6. Make Friends, Treasure Family

Happier people tend to have good families, friends, and supportive relationships. But it’s not enough to be the life of the party if you’re surrounded by shallow acquaintances. We don’t just need relationships, we need close ones that involve understanding and caring.

7. Smile Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

It sounds simple, but it works. Happy people see possibilities, opportunities, and success. When they think of the future, they are optimistic, and when they review the past, they tend to savor the high points. Even if you weren’t born looking at the glass as half-full, with practice, a positive outlook can become a habit.

8. Say Thank You Like You Mean It

People who keep gratitude journals on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to make progress toward achieving personal goals. It is revealed that people who write “gratitude letters” to someone who made a difference in their lives score higher on happiness, and lower on depression—and the effect lasts for weeks.

9. Get Out and Exercise

Exercise may be just as effective as drugs in treating depression, without all the side effects and expense. Other research shows that in addition to health benefits, regular exercise offers a sense of accomplishment and opportunity for social interaction, releases feel-good endorphins, and boosts self-esteem.

10. Give It Away, Give It Away Now!

Make altruism and giving part of your life, and be purposeful about it. Helping a neighbor, volunteering, or donating goods and services results in a “helper’s high,” and you get more health benefits than you would from exercise or quitting smoking. Listening to a friend, passing on your skills, celebrating others’ successes, and forgiveness also contribute to happiness. Those who spend money on others reported much greater happiness than those who spend it on themselves.

Determination

2011-01-07T12:27:00.012+08:00

Ever since I embarked on my new job, as a Human Resource personnel, and a mother(especially), I hardly have time for myself. All life has for me these days is, 12hours of my time for work and the other half of the day with my family especially my son. I miss lunch/dinner dates with my babes. I miss having impromptu movie sessions. I miss having coffee meet-ups. I miss going shopping with my true self or even with my shopping kakis. Most of all, I miss ME and of course, me-time.

It's definitely not easy juggling all of these at once; a wife, a mother, a daughter, and an employee. Well, it's been said that it's easy to overcome all of these just by being yourself. Guess it's not when others have level of expectations on you. True?

I feel all bad when i don't get to reach those expectations, moreover if i know i can posibly do it with extra effort. I never want to fail in this blissful life ever again. If ever i fall, noone/nothing should pull me down any lower. I guess experiences have taught me lessons.

However, overtime, I was jolted by how much I actually enjoyed myself with a stable job and a blissful family. I love waking up to tend to Audi by showering him, dressing him, prepare his special meals, playing with him, bringing him out, teaching him, talking to him, disciplining him, laughing with him, hugging him, kissing him and the list keeps going on, all for the weekends. I still do commit my heart and soul as a mother throughout the weekdays by giving him a call on most of my lunch hour. Believe it or not, though he can't speak fluently, he at least responded to me by baby-talking. Though i could not entirely understand, but rest assured, i feel at ease listening to my baby's voice.

I knew I wanted the best of both worlds. I want to pursue further in my studies which is work related and at the same time be a superwoman for both Audi-Doodee and Syam-love.

Then again, the entire process is not gonna be an easy journey. I hope to pull through this because this is exactly just what i want. A simple life with an aim but it's all the sacrifices that one should need.

And of course the sacrifice is, myself and most of me-time.

Much prayers.

Yours truly,
Hani

2010, with love.

2010-12-31T23:45:00.003+08:00

Dear 2010,

There’s far too many things about you that have made the year loaded with significance.

You're leaving us pretty soon. There were many times halfway that I tripped, stumbled my way through and fell more often than not, and been hoping for a new day to greet me because I thought I have had enough.

There have been moments when I clicked to particular memories, read some familiar incidents, and recalled some really good times, some made me smile, but most are now bittersweet.

I’ve stepped to places I never thought I would, gone through the path I never imagined, and now I am flipping through your pages, still amazed with what I never thought I would go through. But that’s how cookie crumbles.

Accomplishments comes in a bundle of testing times and I’m thankful for the fair share of nice times and self achievements that appears as gifts to carve a smile.

We pulled through, anyway.

I won’t want to leave you without saying goodbye. I shall leave the baggage to sail, but allow me to bring along those traces, even a few, for I choose to celebrate the good times.

Thank you for being a good reference for me to get back up after all you have taught me. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even take a peek to what’s ahead of me. The ups and downs you had for me have kept me going. And the journey goes on.

I have lots to look forward to and i could somehow sense its gonna be real good, insya'Allah. With much perseverance and a sacrifice, i am sooo ready for this.

May the year end closes its chapter of sadness, heartbreaks and opens up a whole new year of beginning, happiness, joy and rezeki.

Here’s to a brighter 2011, with good vibes all year round, here i am feeling all happy. Happy thinking of the good things to come. ;))

Happy New Year, friends, old and new, close and far, still here and forgotten.

Here weee gooooo, 2011!

Yours truly,
Hani

Merry Christmas

2010-12-29T12:30:00.002+08:00

I know this entry was suppose to be posted days before. But well, i hope i'm not too late to wish my non-muslim mates a MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS! Haha! Gosh this is very outdated.

Clearly, as Muslims we do not believe that Jesus was God's son, that's why Christmas plays no part at all in the Muslim calendar.

Muslims, however, are most respectful of what others believe and wish to live on friendly terms with all our neighbours, colleages and friends, whether they are Muslim or not. In this context, sending and returning the Christmas greeting cards, or even wish a warm Merry Christmas to them does not present us with a problem.

Christmas is considered a religious holiday commemorating the birth of Prophet Jesus (peace be upon him). We should all respect each other’s religions and celebrations. If only the world were perfect and everyone could believe differently but also be treated as equals. The way I see it is if you believe in Allah, or God, both wonderful ways of saying the mighty one then that should be enough.

Nevertheless, Christmas is a great time to relate to our neighbours, colleagues and friends especially the non-muslims. Furthermore, it’s a public holiday, instead of draining ourselves at work, why not spent this time with them informally, isn’t it?

I did my part. I represent the kind deeds of a muslim and da’wah.

I attended the company’s Christmas Get Together. And I certainly had a good time with my fellow colleagues. What more that they are all ting tongs!

And of course, how can i forget this bunch who fill life with great pleasures.

We did exchange of gifts and well, you bet it, i love my gift!

From the man himself, Sadikin. Ours was truly a 1-to-1 gift exchange. :)

A bundle of thanks to darling, Siti, for planning this out. If not for you, guess we might miss one session of bonding together. Thank you, Sweets!

Besides these two events, i also had dinner with the in-laws over at Sakura. Thank you beloved Sis-In-Law for the treat! (pictures are currently unavailable)

So all in all, i had a good time spent with loved ones, and well, indeed, i have taken the Christmas public holiday as the reason for me to bond with them.

Hope you had a good day well spent too!
A Belated Merry Christmas to you!

Love,
Hani

My Seat

2010-12-28T10:48:00.005+08:00

Sometimes when your heart and mind are at its best seat, ideas and happy thoughts keep coming without you realising that time have past.

One thing i'm afraid of this situation is, they are bound to twist its back on you.

Well now, i hope that it doesn't! These may not be big events but i must say, if it does happen the way it should, then it'll be fruitful, insyaÁllah.

ONE: January 2011
The Mini Black & White Private Party.

TWO: February 2011
A Family Getaway

THREE: March 2011
Audi's very 1st Birthday Celebration.

FOUR: April 2011
Our Second Anniversary (for the first time with Audi)

FIVE: May 2011
A Good Holiday (away from Asia)

Now, these will fill me for the first half of the year, together with a few other impromptu events. What the other half of the year have install for me? Lots more! So yes indeed, 2011 have a whole lots of stuff awaiting for this little woman here.

My doa(s) for those will all go as smoothly as posible. Insya'Allah.

Oh dear 2011, please be good to me. I'm looking forward to a great year with you! :)

Yours truly,
Hani :)

A Personal Choice

2010-12-14T12:45:00.002+08:00

"Why do you decide to wear the hijab?"

It's not the first time i was questioned. Well, i'd say it's a pretty subjective issue in the modern world. I know. Even now that i am typing this entry, i know this entry wouldn't be favoured by many but then again, i do no wrong, did i?

Now i'm just here sharing my views. Nothing more, nothing less.

I read articles, search the holy Quran for definite truth and i come to belief them, myself.

A passage from the Qur'an that order the hijab.

"O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women to draw their outer garments around them (when they go out or are among men). That is better in order that they may be known (to be Muslims) and not annoyed..." (Qur'an 33:59)

I was just like any other teenage girl who wanted to look good. I dyed, rebonded and curled my hair, cut them into many hairstyles and i never was satisfied with any hairstyle i was in no matter how good it looked. I wore sleeveless tank-tops, shorts and accessorise myself, and then again, i never was satisfied with anything i wear no matter how comfy my casual tops and shorts were. Even under the hot, scorching sun, those casual outfits were comfortable but somewhat 'uncomfortable'.

I go out with my husband, who was then my boyfriend/fiance, with a 'perfect' hairstyle, simple outfits such as jeans and a sleeveless top and we went to meet his friends and their girlfriends. A pinch of my heart was not comfortable by how eyes were watching me. I prefer not to be liked fully by how i look but somehow more of who i am. Physically with what i wear, i dislike to be look upon and give others a wrong impression.

I slowly thought of a better solution. But perhaps, at that point of time, i thought i was not ready for hijab. Probably becase i didn't truly understand the reasons behind 'hijab'. Then again, i know, that reason is not accepted by Him, Allah. It is simply known as excuses, instead.

My heart opened up to 'hijab' on a random day. I had a better understanding of Islam and the beliefs. My heart is certainly at ease. That morning when i don on the hijab, a wide smile, needless of explanation, was given by husband, Syam. :)

With hijab, it is also behavior, manner, and speech. Women who wear the hijab do not find it inhibiting, impractical, or interfering. We should wear the hijab to show our identity as muslims. More importantly, we should wear it to show our love and respect for Almighty Allah and his instructions.

And if you wonder if women wears the hijab everywhere (at home, when sleeping, in the shower). The truth is that Muslim women only cover themselves in front of men who are not direct relatives like their brothers, husbands, fathers, and uncles, to prevent indecent acts or thoughts.

One of the major misconceptions about the hijab (covering of the body except the face and hands) is that young women are forced to wear it by their parents or by male family members. While some assume that a Muslim woman must wear a hijab after marriage or visiting Mecca. Well, a Muslim woman doesn't have to be married or go to Mecca to start putting on the hijab. And honestly, none of my family members pushed me on wearing the hijab. Really, none, but of course advice were given. As for my husband, Syam, a one-time good advise was given, and he left me to think. I must say, i was deep in thoughts soon after.

The purpose of wearing a hijab is modesty. By dressing modestly, we are protecting ourselves from the non-mahram, or men who are not lawful to us. Beneath those layers of cloth and loose clothes could be any ordinary person you could think of. I admit I am not the perfect example of a Muslim woman as I still have so many shortcomings just like anyone does. It's not easy but I am still trying very hard to abandon my beauty-consciousness and tone down on how 'loud' i can be at times ;).

In essence, the whole point of wearing the hijab is to conceal a woman's beauty from men who are not lawful to her for the sake of Allah.

Get lost

2010-12-08T17:13:00.001+08:00

Of all goodbyes, the kind of which hurts the most is the one that your ears never heard of but your heart knew it was already being said.

It is peculiar how people just walk in and out of our life. At one moment, you may think they are always going to be there, forever - forever and always. Some time passes and they are no longer in your life anymore. Something changed and they only stay in a chapter of your life, their chapter in your life is now over. They are now no one. A whole new chapter begins, everything changes, nothing stays the same.

We are constantly moving in and out of others' lives, jumping from one person to the next, just another chapter in another person's story. Well, I would like to remain as a main character for once, but then again, prolly not with you around now. I still do not understand how you went from my main character to nothing at all.

I just cannot help it, how true this passage is and how i am able to relate, word for word. I do not understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do. How your best friend can become your worst enemy (everytime!), or how strange it is when your worse enemy turns into your best friend (everytime, too). How forever turns into a few short months that you would do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you cannot live without. How even though you know something is best for you, it just hurts the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because it is easier than working things out.

You didn't even say goodbye when you packed up your bags and left. So now go, and please don't come back. I know you wouldn't, and you make sure you don't.

Pft.

Twenty-forth

2010-12-07T23:46:00.001+08:00

Nobody can go back to the past as much as we want to.

I wish I was 16 again, but I can't. Or perhaps, 21, where the key to many avenues are, but then again, I can't. Please don't tell me I'm 24, can you? Boohooo!

Dang, yes, i've turned 24. And as I am almost halfway racing into my 30s, I know that I cannot take life for granted anymore. What more that i have involve myself into a marriage and also, motherhood. Nevertheless, whats there to worry? Fact is, i'm still in my twenties. And i am truly contented for what i have achieved so far in life. More to come, way to go, determination stays put. Chey-dey-baaah! ;)

Thank you all for your wishes.

Much thanks to every one of you who have wished me personally. You sure deserve that sincere smile and much thanks from me when you did so. You know who you are, earthlings.

Also thanks to each and everyone of you who wished me via phonecalls, sms, facebook, twitter and e-mail. Thank you all so much.

A crazy thanks to the office-maniacs who randomly come over to my desk to occupy it with your little gifts and hugs from the back and ones who quietly pop-out from the side. Gosh you guys, really ar! Here's a special thanks to dear colleagues; The big-man, Firdaus, thank you for the biskot-yang-da-ter-smash. I ate it anyway. To Din, who kidnapped the Christmas decoration from the Christmas tree just so my little gift of candy look way better, thank you oh-so-much. Dear Pearlyn, xie-xie-ni for the Chomel jewelries. Wo ai ni!

My very special thanks to my dear husband, Syam, who brought me to the theatre, Cinderel-LAH!

You sure know me best, and i'm very much thankful and appreciative on that. The show was hilarious and i had fun not just watching it, but communicating as an audience. Thosai! Goood-er! Thank you oh-so-much for the seafood-dinner too.

When was the last time i had crabs ehk? Many years back i guess.

And of coz, i should not forget this. Very much thanks for the Swarovski crystal bracelet.

It was indeed a surprise. I never thought i could tear out for joy at the coast of the sea, well, you did not see that, did you? But i did, anyway. And well, what is my birthday without Cranberry for Body Shop, kan? Really, thank you very much, dear.

Thank you love along with Khai and Fir for the impromptu birthday dinner. I definitely had a good night with you all though we had to really control our laughter. ;p

Thank you to my family for celebrating it with me. I love having all of you around at my lovely crib having good times together. Sadly, we did not take much pics together but this piece of 'the family'.

WAH piang! My thanks to all macam menang Oscar eh?! Not bad kan?! Now, have i thank every single one of you? Some of you even wished me more than one way just so you don't miss my birthday out. How lovely!

Sorry I could not reply to all but I read them all, and I tried replying to as many sms-es, FB entries and messages, tweets, and emails, as I possibly could.

Twenty-four, what more can i ask for. As good and simple this year's birthday is, especially that this year's Awwal Muharram falls on my very birthday, i'm more than happy as a lady myself.

Salam Maal Hijrah to all Muslim. And here's a start to my twenty-forth! Thank you all once again for making my twenty-forth a bright and cheerful one.

Lots of love,
Hani

Since we were teens

2010-12-02T12:00:00.007+08:00

Girlfriends. The ultimate love every girl has, or not, yearns for. She was a classmate, a colleague, a professional dance kaki, and a true friend. A family. :)

Nur Shafurah (Noy).

We were only 13. We did small silly things in class together. We threw paper rolls at each other, flew paper planes, shoot rubber bands. We ate breakfast in class and still tried to stay focus during lessons. Noy chose and approved of my boyfriend, and now my husband, Syam. They were both childhood friends, and I love listening to her stories about him. Come my sad story, Noy will pat my back and always stand by me or even cry with me. In times that I laugh out for joy, Noy will jump around with me. And times when others gossip about me to her, she will listen and turn to laugh, or ignore, as she knows me well enough to trust what is necessary. During days we had frictions between us, we distant in silence, came back with smiles and hugs and of course apologies. Noy is a friend who’ll never turn her back on me, or perhaps anyone she calls family and friends. She is one who naturally serves good deeds just so her friends feel secured.

We went hiking, dance practices, shopping, coffee breaks, walk at the park and many impromptus. Amidst our different life journeys, we always find an opportunity to meet up - Myself, Noy, Aidah, Nazra, Linda and Su, the Six-Tweens.

Noy loved to play the guitar. We had singing sessions and Noy taught me many songs. Many songs I never thought would actually be of so much meaning till now. Believe it or not, we even wrote songs and poems back then during our teenage years and she will tune her guitar to it. Most of the songs are amazingly about Shufi and Syam, our boyfriend then, and the husbands now, respectively.

Whenever Noy is present with me, I will burp without feeling shameful. Not because I do not respect her, but because we are already like a family. Burp! And Noy will turn to smile at me. Burp! Noy will smile and stare at me. Burp! Noy will scream, “This is the how many times...!” And I will literally laugh out loud. It always happens. Always. The weird part about this is, I burp more often than usual whenever I am with her. She must have that something to trigger me to burp huh?! ;p

I knew very well (perhaps not fully), how much she wanted this. Not exactly the wedding, but her future with Shufi, to grow old with him as husband and wife. They went through 10 years of relationship and this is certainly the day we, the six-tweens, were waiting for. And it finally happened. Alhamdulillah.

When the kompang play its rhythm during their stroll to the Pelamin, my heart palpates faster than normal and slowly tears rolled down my cheeks. I was not sad. Definitely not. I am happy for her. I am happy that she chose a good person, Shufi, as a husband. He, who can hold the family firm with iman and daily needs. He, who will stand as a good imam of the family. How much she wanted me to be happy, same goes, I want her to be happy too. I really thank Allah for giving my good friend a gift she would always appreciate.

Nearing to Noy’s wedding day, I told Audi stories of our friendship. He may be too young to understand, but I promise I’ll repeat this story to him as he grows. The story of a true friendship, a true friend, a family. Once you are Noy’s friend, I’m happy to say, it’s for life.

I am going to miss you very much, Noy. Not that we are going to distant far, but I know there are responsibilities to hold as a wife. Therefore, things are never going to be the same again. As much as I still want the six of us to have recess-time together, sitting at that round table in the canteen where the sits fits the six of us nicely, I know those were just meant to be sweet memories for all of us.

The memories of our friendship will be treasured. I am so glad that Noy and the rest of the six-tweens are a part of my life. I will remember them, always.

So, to my two good friends, Noy and Shufi, may Allah bless you both with happiness, joy, peace, understanding, respect, devotion, fidelity, faith, goodness, kindness and love. May your days be filled with laughter and may every day you spend together be even better than the last.

Lots of love,
Hani

ps: When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place. - Helen Gahagan

A Friendship Story

2010-11-18T14:00:00.004+08:00

Everyone has friendship stories. Stories that define what makes each friendship so special or what makes a group of friends so fun to be around.

I have many friendships in my lifetime and some friendships grow and change over time. There are times that i have a great circle of friends with whom i enjoy every waking moment with. And there might be a period of time, from weeks to months to years, in which i'm completely inseparable. In most friendships, i must agree that we all share some secrets, tell our friends our ultimate desires, and know that no matter what he or she says, you'll be there for them as well. However, gradually, most friendships change. People move on, or grow older, or get involved in different activities that push them away from their friends. This is a perfectly natural part of life. Some friendships turn out that way with hardly any communication after the friendship has faded away. Well, that's okay, because part of being a friend is knowing when its time to move on to another friendship, or to closer ties with someone else. A friendship that was at one time a best friendship will rarely disappear entirely, even if both parties grow apart.

However, there are the friendships that do, indeed, last forever. Not entirely forever, but here still after 12 wonderful years. This bunch of friends i am talking about is the six-tweens, formerly known as 6-jahanam.

They are friends from a young age and travel through all of life's paths together. We stay at nearby estates, go to the same school, and i truly hope that we'll end up settling down near each other. Or, they probably move away, but stay in such close contact that their friendship never changes. OH! It's been that now actually. These are rarities, but they are gifts that i always cherish. True friends, forever friends take dedication and work it out for many many years, and you must be sure to never break the trust of this type of friend.

They are one of the reasons i feel very blessed in this pure life. I've never regret having them as part of my life, as true friends. True girlfriends any girl would wish for. :))

Our friendship had never go wrong with just the six of us, because we simply love one another truly by who they are.

Every moment with them is truly priceless. :))

This is partly us. If this is how its like when it's only the 4 of us, what would it be if we are 6 and complete?!

;))

Warmest love,
Hani.

Hectic

2010-10-28T19:06:00.003+08:00

One word to describe how it has been for me lately. Rest assured, though i may have some sleep, i am sleep deprived too. :(

I blame nothing and no one on this because i believe that everyone has this word in their dictionary of life. Be it you're studying or working, there'll sure be days that you'll feel all burnt out, yes?

Sadly, i do regard that i have not spent enough time with Syam-love and Audi. Well, what is enough when it comes to these two?! It never will be.

Work have kept me uptight and busy especially these two weeks that the truckload of work is increasing due to the crazy standard that the management is expecting. Crazy to me because if you do all out for the lesson plan, they'd say it's too much, and when you do just as it is, they'd say it's not enough. Now what, buddy? What do you want, really?! In times like this, i think lesson planning can be utmost mundane too, but well, that's what keep me going in this profession.

I will always try my very best not to bring work home and i respect the fact that my family is my priority. 3-quarter of the day away from them is enough to call a heck of sacrifice, what more of bringing work home. That'll be pretty unfair, isn't it?

Now that Audi is more aware of his surrounding and the closely related people, it's even more difficult than i ever could imagine. He may give me that sad facial expression of his when he sees me donning on my hijab. His mind will speak that this mother of his is gonna leave him. Even for the better, he definitely don't want me to go. During phonecalls, he'll look around for me, knowing that he heard me but where am i physically? Poor baby. I really feel sorry for him. Bunda promise that this is all for the better of us okay, dear.

You see, i am not just feeling hectic as it is, but it involves physical, emotional and mentally too. Simply just oh-so draggy and tired. But rest assured, this heart always feel very blessed. Alhamdulillah.

I hope to rest a little longer today. Perhaps i should fulfill at least 8-hours of sleep tonight, insya'Allah.

The Husband

2010-10-21T22:17:00.001+08:00

A cohesive family does not happen overnight. It involves alot of dedication.

Thank you Allah for such a lovely husband. He made having a family all worthwhile. ;)

We share the truckload of parenthood. We get ourselves involved and help each other out.

I am proud of my love who is hands-on with my little tike, Audi. I believe that it build up a stronger connection and attachment, and perhaps help in the parent-child relationship later in life.

As for me, how much i shower my baby with love, just the same goes for love. Simple loving acts do make wonders like having a dinner out together, a small gift, cooking his favourite dish just to show my appreciation and put the spark back like how we were back then in a boy-girl relationship.

As a couple, we go from having relative independence, freedom and flexibility to suddenly having to re-adjust our lives around our little tike. What more of motherhood, it brings about a big transition - sacrificing regular sleep for frequent night feeds, social interaction and mental stimulation that is now replaced to baby crying and fatigue. Oh these changes along with uncertainties of whether or not i am doing it right (thank you Allah for the experiences in Nursing), not to mention the extra weight gain and extreme loss, and dealing with all the changing hormones. Not easy, not easy.

I thank Allah for a husband like Syam-love, who guided me through and pamper me with so much love just so i feel right there in place.

We women are very good at pointing out our husbands’ faults and failures and arguing with them for not meeting our needs, but that only leads to discontent and distance in our marriages. Agree? We all know that nagging, and belittling are disrespectful and ineffective. So I did a radical concept: Treat him like a king, and eventually, he will begin to treat you like a queen. He is a VIP. Respect him verbally, intellectually, and physically.

So yes, i do pamper him too just the way he likes it. I believe if I want my marriage to grow and bloom, i’ll have to water it with kindness and encouragement. That way, it makes bot of us happy.

Honestly, i can't afford to live with an unhappy family in a mundane daily living. So here i am striving my all for the best as a wife, also a mother. Insya'Allah.

On a deeper note, to my dear husband, thank you oh-so-much for being one who listens, one who understands the value of retail therapy for me as a typical woman, one who encourages my passion, one who holds my hair back when I throw up, one who makes sure I get time to myself, one who gives me remedial discipline lessons, one who appreciates my strengths and accepts my failings, one who helps me make the beds in the morning, even though that’s my hangup and not his, one who is a loving, involved father, one who doesn't expect me to cook but somewhat prefers to if i have the time, and is wildly appreciative when I do.

I feel truly blessed among women.

Thank you for being you, sweetheart.

With much love,
Wife.

I was never one who hates

2010-10-13T10:10:00.004+08:00

Turmoils, time after time. And i'm feeling humiliated.

I think some people need a little pinch of a wake up call.

It's not a very nice part to loose 'some' friends in certain episodes of our lives. I personally believe in finding a positive side in everything. I too believe that true friends stay on even with rare communications, regardless of flaws, they'll guide you through. Friends do not criticise or promote the sense of hypocracy, don't they?

I remember back then in school, backstabbing, bitching around and hipocracy were as common between friends. I remember people clinging on to friends just to have friends, and not because they wanted them as friends. We're growing, people. We ARE growing. Where have your senses gone to?

Certain things happen for a reason. Which angle are you looking at? Even a picture speaks a thousand words, what more of a story? I just don't or possibly can't understand people who assume the negative part of things when it all could been have much better if you take the positive side and talk it thru.

I truly have no idea where am i coming from or where i am heading to with this entry.
I must at all times be careful and selective when it comes to friends, even if it means being judgemental. I've learnt my lesson the hard way.

As much as i am concern, i am one who draws a line, knowing my limits with people called FRIENDS.

I have the right to choose who to be close to, and who to avoid. I have the right to love who i want, and i believe the same goes for you. You point on me for the many discords! Who are you to destroy them?! And i still call you a 'friend'? I am baffled though, why must you go to such extend to sow discords, just because you don't happen to like some people?

I'll stand up tall and firm. Your decisions and disrespect towards me have been respected, and i'm here taking my leave.

You've tried too hard. Just way too hard.

p/s: just not my kind of entry

E S C A P E

2010-09-29T20:31:00.012+08:00

Before Fir's birthday celebration started, we were all anxious of what to do in the chalet. Preparation for the event would be too early, so we headed down for breakfast, and believe it or not, this is our first time having breakfast together as friends after so many years. Thumbs up to us!

Macdonald's breakfast never did upset me in a way or other. It's just splendid.

Afterwhich, the guys had their gaming session while i was pushing them for ESCAPE. Like come on! We can all play games at home, don't we?! And all of us are staying in the west side, why waste this opportunity since we are already at the east, also because Fir had complimentary ticket. So thankfully those guys were so up for it in the end. Yabedaabedooo!

All of us were rushing for all the outdoor rides because the sky were already turning gray. :( Our first ride was the VIKING!

It was weird. My knees were literally shaking and i actually did scream my lungs out! After birth, my fear for height was bad, but i fight thru it while i took the viking! Phew! It was awfully awesome.

We then took the boat splash, and yes, that's my all-time favourite ride. Up, up and away!!!

Now look at Mr Fir. He actually took the children's rollercoaster. Okay Fir, you rock 'small' time. Really. ;p

And the guys went for their drive in the go-cart which was not so fantastic due to the engine, but yeah, it was kinda fun to have it as a group.

Oh yes, we did horse racing too! HAHAHA! I won a little retard teddy bear as my first prize! Cool kan...?! Yeah yeah. ;p So does Sadikin on the subsequent race. And this was when the rain was pouring. We were darn lucky that we have taken all the rides before the rain poured. Thank you, Allah.

Oh not to forget, we entered the Haunted House. It was the utmost fun amongst all for silly little reasons that i shouldn't post it out here. If you are curious to know why, please feel free to contact Firdaus for more information. HAHAHA!

As simple as this entry is, we did had a great time there. Thinking back, we've strike 24-25 years old, and having a good time in Escape Theme Park is not a usual thing in that age group. I don't mind having another session of that though! HAHAHA.

And solely to Fir, you owe us BIG TIME! ;p

I feel GOOD

2010-09-04T01:35:00.004+08:00

It’s not just about eating right and exercising. It’s about being happy too.

How have I been as a mother for almost 6 months now? Answer is, I am doing perfectly fine. Alhamdulillah. ;)

Like most mothers, I too worry on how I’d loose weight after giving birth. I gained almost 15kg during pregnancy, and honestly I disliked how I looked physically with that extra weight of mine (besides the fact that the baby in me does makes me happy). I’m amused by my weight now, though. I got back to my normal shape, also to the weight I had a year ago and guess what, I could easily fit into my engagement dress which was made in year 2007. As a lady, I am certainly happy! Needless to say how much my weight is now, because it doesn’t matter as much as fitting into that particular dress of mine. ;)

That part, as a mother, I’m happy. Happy to be back in shape. ;)

Audi, on the other hand, never fails to awe and amuse me. This little social butterfly of mine can now do just so many fantastic things any 6 months old baby could. He is so active in so many ways which gets life more spiced up and fun, but definitely the intensive period where he need all attentions on him.

He often gains new skills and shows interest in getting around and exploring his environment. He has already adopted rolling as his primary mode of ground transportation for a while and perhaps skips crawling for he loves to stand more often than not. I’ve got an ambitious baby there huh?!

He has also build this habit that if anyone who approaches him with welcoming eyes or a grin delights him, they shall become his friend instantly. Friendly, you’d say, not until you hear him screaming out for his milk. He’ll sound like as if he’s got physically abused. For that habit of crying out too loud, I do not know where he got that from but I have no one to blame as life has stated, a hungry man is an angry man. So dear dude, cry all you want while you still own this status, ‘baby’. ;)

I however sense that he is a food lover. He is already starting his cereals and fruits and yes, he enjoys sweet potatoes to bits! He’ll look and stare and my every move whenever I steam and mash the sweet potatoes up for him, for he knows he’ll surely have his favourite meal there after. Smart baby. :)

Mind you, Audi is his parent’s all time little darling. He can be very friendly with you but please do not ‘snatch’ him away from them. He’ll love you even more if only you approach him cheerfully in a calm way, then slowly cuddle him in your arms. He can be a hunk, but he has a soft heart too.

Well, I can go on and on and on about my little dude here because he really can get me down to his life just at any second.

Keep me sane for now because I need a little nap to recharge.
‘Till the next post.

Salam.

YOU (not)

2010-08-28T00:34:00.005+08:00

Being someone you're not is one of the things that make us weak and flawed. Wanting everyone to bow or fear you, is perhaps natural because you want to show your dominance. But dang, it's all your fake actions on others. How long can that last?

If your true self is wanting to dominate people, then you have a problem with your own self. Perhaps your angry at society, want to take revenge upon something, I wouldn't know, only you can know. We can always change how we act and how we think, that's the only power we have sometimes.

Sometimes the best way to find and be at peace with yourself is to be where there's no need to be anything else, but just be YOU.

Just be truthful, not only to others, but most importantly YOURSELF.
Think.

Stop & Stare

2010-08-21T01:26:00.003+08:00

Hello there, I'm finally back here again.

It's been a while (once again), so I figure I better jump in proper and stop hopping, really. Blog followers, you sure know what i mean. Well now, let it all start afresh.

It's been months since I last blogged, much less even visited this site. Almost six months ago, I had every intention of not blogging anymore. But now, that so much has happened and my goodness, it's all amazing and beautiful and wonderful, all that and so much more, all these things that have been happening to me. I've missed this. One of the reasons why, I haven't typed down my thoughts in proper, is because, yes, i'm all hooked with life's simple pleasures.

So there, you'll expect much stories of my life's simple pleasure in my upcoming entries and perhaps random rambles too.

'Till the next post.
Peace.